Chancellor George Osborne yesterday confirmed his “man of the people” status by excitedly announcing that Star Wars Episode VII is set to be made in the UK.
“The UK really is the perfect setting for the next film in this saga”, Mr Osborne may or may not have gone on to say, “It tells the story of a brave Imperial government making difficult decisions in the face of an insidious rebel threat”.
“You really have to admire the bravery and leadership shown in the Star Wars films”, the chancellor continued, “they refused to bow down to separatist threats and weren’t afraid to use their Death Star if anyone looked at them sideways”.
“Furthermore, if Darth Vader could run an Empire with no legs, no arms and reliant upon breathing apparatus, what the hell excuse do our disabled layabouts have for not going out and stacking shelves for Poundland?”
Related Articles
“Thousands of Jobs at Risk” if Death Star Scrapped
Sauron Funeral Parties “Tasteless”
